Two baddest Words
for moi.
But it goes back to, starts with the father!
Onceupona, a somewhat big mouthed child,
um, cum adolescent
overweening and outrageous for sure
bane of parental - and own selfs’ - life
purveyor of mayhem and dismay
got linguistic comeuppance
- as only an OE pater could provide -
in cooly irritated response
to the groupie jargon of the times;
“You know”...
No, I don’t.
Disconcerting, huh!
That put paid to the garrulous flow
in an instant!
In those days, for the yourhful-herd soul,
Y’see and Y’know prefaced every sentence
and replaced every question mark;
as nowadays, “d’y’know wot I mean” does the same,
with the same presumptions. assumptions
and clumsy longing for connection
and to be heard.
What a woffle-stopper:
No I don’t.
with a shrivelling look
that vaporized any vain shoots of ego
in a trice;
besides hoping to inculcate virtues
of brevity, clarity and precision.
What else could the poor man do,
with incorrigible mavericks
(blacksmiths, horse whisperers
plant-persons, saints and storytellers)
by way of chicks.
Onwards, un-Christianly laggards,
drop-outs, devotees and riff-raff...on’it!
On with the tale of my two latter-day,
direst words:
Believe … Worry
pushing all the buttons
loaded with ever imaginable prejudice
- along with sloth, pride, greed,
culpable ignorance, un-listening
as well as most other Victorian vices.
It brings me on to, back to
this same revulsion and reaction
as it erupts down the generations:
the sarcasm, cynicism, judgments
the ability to fault-find, cut short, belittle.
Blame it on frustration or the time of day!
It is a skill, a blight.
Attribute it to innocence or otherwise
lack of compassion, humour or warmth.
Tracing one word back
through the myths and etymology
of its origins, associations, implications,
impelled, propelled
by meaning and intent:
“Believe”:
A nice conviction
persuaded, conditioned, inspired
whether agnostic, shamanic or Godly
sectarian, idolatrous, scientific;
liable to be upheld as exclusively
most true, most real and best:
to fight, preach, judge and die for.
Passport to personal privilege
or salvation,
source of fortitude and hope.
Yet, but…..
Believing can also be blind compliance
fear-based and elitist;
causing bloodshed and division
in its proselytizing self-righteousness;
Homophobic, racist, sexist - all the ists;
“Worry”:
What a worthy, selfless activity!
Pragmatic concern for others,
for minutae, veracity, well-being.
Yet, but….
Worrying may circle round and around
solving nothing, explaining nothing
driving one mad;
it undermines resilience and confidence;
blunting perspective, wasting time
wreaking havoc on nerves and health.
It can become obsessive,
dependent on addictive substances
- biting nails, tics, allergies, paranoia.
The antithesis of Peace, faith, love.