MISSING YEARS

Where did she go and with whom? To where?

A long gap in formative childhood, gone silent,

not talked about, without any reference or connections:

An unspoken absentia

that gets louder through the buried distances of Time.

Albeit, not purposely omitted,

with all the burrowing through archives, records and diaries;

was it purely adversities of war 

or disgraces of ancestry?

Ostracizing of social status by collective shames inbuilt,

misfortunes of fate, inherited or imposed - 

whether by survival reactions or rejections of retreat - false pride?

The dumb terrors of opinion

and even polite repression

or the welcome oblivion and anonymity of forgetting? 

This devastates youthful spirit -  its confidence, raison d’etre 

by subtle or overt pressure.

The lack of evidence,

enslaving the free soul itself,

diminishing any chance to express or manifest

it’s unique and creative self.

That is my elder suspicion

and dread:

what happened in that gap?

Personal